confusion

i keep thinking..
what should i do when i come to this situation
should i let it go..or
let myself drown in the pain
or..
keep on walking to the destination i never know
i never know..
yeah nobody ever know what is suppose to be at the future..

'boy i relly wanna try to work this out cause i'm tired of fighting..'

that is how i feel now.
practically..
before my school start again
haish..

i'm tired of fighting to work this thing out
he keep giving excuses..
but that are the true reasons
i understand him for that. i know why it's hard for him to handle this
i just know all that so i keep giving in but..
at the same time i don't feel what he's trying to do
well he is not even trying to do anything
i think no..that's why he said he don't promise commitment
he even break up with me because he tot i can't wait
he didn't want to waste my time and hurt me more well that's what he'd said to me.i understand what he's trying to do..
so in this case if im hurting it will be my fault cuz he already said it.
n i refused it.
i said it.i'll wait.
so my bad.
now.it's just so hard to undo the complicated knot.
so i think of shutting up
and let things flow on 'em own
i don't know why im sooo desperate for all these..ugghh
aqish please stop these nonsense
you just can't let these things alone.that's ur prob.
but if i don't nothing is gonna be clear.it'll be just hanging
seriously i just got a lot to ask n tell
haih.he keep on put everything at a hang
whatever laa.
aqish you can't force everything to be in the way you wanted.
you can't.wake up for that.
your life........
long way to go.got lots of way to entertain yourself..
but this ain't entertainment
this is a need.no a desire no i don't know.it's just that
it's what you want when u fell in love.that's it
but aqish just sacrifice your feelings for him..
just let it go laa
let it be.no use. the pieces of puzzle you're trying to solve.
can't be done cuz there are pieces of 'em are with him..
sooo let it be undone..