tomorrow

big day tomorrow yawww!!
oh my god like so soon??
i can't believe it..cuz i think that the pmr just over
n like a blink of time..poof...
the result has been confirmed and posted
and tomorrow will be day
immma call the school
and..and..
ask for my result
like
YA ALLAH ENGKAU BERIKANLAH KU 8A.AMIN
it's all i've always wanted for the 3 years i'd struggled n i dont want em to go wasted
so y'all get my point
im just feeling terribly chilled n thrilled and oh cant' be describe
see im not the innocent decentgood girl
but im not bad..just..just..oh.
i my ownself know what the just is..so let it be in me
so it's freakingly scary and ntah laa
like that laa
only the ones who experienced this will trully understand the condition im going thru
:((


and rite now beside my parent;family
i need him
i need my baby badly..i need my syednaqashhaidershah
now if possible
cuz i just had a bad midnite..
not a nitemare but just..depressing midnite
i wanted to call him but i have got no credit
to even text him
i just kinda..feeling rebellious..and unappreciated..
and sad..and torn..to what had just happened..it was completely not fair that i just can't stood up for myself to tell em what i really felt//like being treated thta way..with cursing and oh. heart breaking..
emotionally i creid..but of course no one knows..i was crying..
cuz
i'm not a child now.i can take care of myself. musn't let them down now. musn't let them see me cry. im fine.im fine..

i undertand all the sacrifices and so many else but can't they just
understand me..how i feel noo what i feel
i dont know i feel like shouting out so instead i cry.n cry.in my room
accompany only by the darkness and the sound of my sobbing
oh so dramatic..but oh.how torn i felt..and how more n more i felt of running to him
my darling baby :((
but..
deep im not sure ..if we're still are..
i mean i love him..but does he??
haih ntahlaaa..
i tried alot of ways..but nothing is returning
and for that the cut is getting deeper and deeper
and the strength to hold on is getting shallow each time..i think bout not gonna be with pon later on
our relationship hvae no future at all :((
so i keep on holding on..to something that can destroy me for sure even if it's trusted..?
:((
ntah laa.wtv it is..i just want to get 8 A's :)